FriendZoned
by AceShadow
Summary: Oh how we all hate the friend zone. Too bad Patton would have the misfortune of experiencing this horrible predicament. ONE SHOT


**FriendZoned**

It was quiet on the Moon Base, quiet enough for Patton to contemplate about whether or not he should go through with it. Today was the day he was going all the way, today was the day he would finally approach that lucky girl! For years, the two have been great friends, going way back even before either of them were in the Kids Next Door. Sure they were inseparable as friends, but he wanted to push it to the next level, far beyond the limitations of his current status in the girl's mind. Twiddling his fingers, he sat on one of the tables overlooking the Moon Base bridge, staring at that beautiful blonde girl giving out orders to a multitude of operatives.

She was arguably one of the cutest girls in the Kids Next Door, and her position in the organization, well, a bonus. Stern, and commanding, yet compassionate and intimate, traits all highly desired by even the sternest of male operatives. And Patton was no exception. He was absolutely hypnotized by this astonishing blonde, and if he was her man, well, he would be one happy guy. He sat there really thinking about this drastic move he was about to make, scared that perhaps she didn't feel the same way as him. Sure he was a drill sergeant, but that would provide no help in this situation.

The crowd of operatives slowly dispersed, revealing a very tired, yet strangely attractive figure. The blonde was slumping from exhaustion, but smiled when she looked up at her Arctic base friend. She was unlike most of the girls he knew, who just gossiped or talked about the latest fashion, or god forbid Justin Bieber. This girl, no she was different. Not only was she a female who filled the spot of Supreme Leader, but she was also much more mature than most girls her age. She was smart, but also had a refined sense of fashion, much more sophisticated than the over the top make up many girls her age for whatever reason wore.

Smiling back, Patton moved in for the kill, this was it, the defining moment that would either make him the happiest man in the world or the most worthless pile of self-loathing feces to ever walk the face of the planet. _This is it man, it's now or nothing! _He walked up to her, nervous about when to pop that big question. And it's like if the god's were giving him a sign, she smiled back, quickly accepting his genuine hug. "Hi Patton" she smiled, her dazzling straight and white teeth and adorable face nearly paralyzing the unsuspecting drill sergeant.

"Hey Rachel, another hard day of running the KND?" she sighed, her body movements reflecting otherwise, "Yeah... but you know someones got to do it."

"Yep..." That was all he managed to say. Now was the time, now was the time he would try to make it clear to this dazzling fine women that he wanted to push their relationship to the next level!

"Hey Rachel.. you know I've been thinking." Rachel turned. _Her eyes... oh man her eyes.. so cute and that brown color though... snap out of it_! He thought to himself. He was letting her attractiveness get the better of him. There was no way in hades he was going to choke now! No sir, not the almighty Patton Drilovsky!

She waited patiently, anticipating what sort of question he was going to ask her. "So you know we've been friends..." Rachel turned her face forward again, leaning her head away from him and straining her eyes to the side to look at the fearless Numbuh 60.

"Uh huh...?" now she was awfully suspicious, it was now or never.

"Well, I was wondering if..."

**_1 day ago_**

"Dude! You have a crush on Numbuh 362?!" he blurted it so loud that Patton nearly slammed the boy's face into the cold ice wall. He must've been an idiot telling both Numbuh 44's... letting Pete and Peter know about this struggle wasn't the most smartest decision he'd ever made, but he had to tell someone! Right? Maybe they could help.

"Yes you idiot! Now shut up before I smash your face open!" The twins laughed, who would've thought most strictest drill sergeant would be love struck. This was priceless.

Numbuh 44a smirked, hardly containing an obvious chuckle "So you going to make a move or what lover boy?"

Patton frowned, "Of course, I just need your help!"

Then for whatever reason, they became serious. After all they were love experts, or so they liked to think they were. "Excellent choice coming to us, Numbuh 44b knows all about relationships, and stuff!" Numbuh 44a pointed at Numbuh 44b who looked wiser than ever.

Salvation, Patton thought. "Really?"

"Yep." the twin nodded. "So all you gotta do is just pop that question big fellah! From what your telling me there's a good chance she likes you too."

"Are you sure?" the drill sergeant said suspiciously.

Numbuh 44b was astonished. "Are you kidding me? Why else would she text you! I mean from the texts I read she likes you man, I mean c'mon, smiley faces galore?"

The two continued to give him what they thought to be great advice, and the desperate Patton soaked in all the information ike a sponge...

**_Present_**

"Wondering what?" Rachel interrupted, the boy speechless.

"Well, maybe we can be more than friends?" Rachel smiled, and Patton filled with joy. "Like, best friends?" Patton was about to bang his head on the wall. "No like you know?!"

She stood there confused. "Um... Best friends forever?" Ok, maybe he wasn't very specific on what he meant. "No! Like you know, together!"

"Oh..." the blonde commander frowned, and then sighed. "Um Patton... I'm sorry to tell you this but I can only see you as a friend." It hit him like a semi truck. She only wanted to be friends, that's it nothing more. Now he was in that dreaded place, where he is no longer considered a dating option. It was possibly the worst possible place he could be, it was every guys _WORST_ nightmare.

He twitched in utter disbelief, managing to mutter only one word. "Ok"

"Aw, it's ok Patton, we can still be friends though! Your like a brother to me!" If what she said earlier didn't kill him, this certainly did. First there was little hope, but now that she said he was like a brother to her, there was _no hope_.

Rachel got an incoming transmission on her communicator and picked it up, it was Nigel Uno, her secret crush. It was well known that the two operatives shared feelings for each other, but both of them denied it. Heck, even Patton knew, and oh, how he wished he was in that boy's shoes.

She hugged him, despite him standing there totally paralyzed. "I'll see you later Numbuh 60." She walked away, chatting with Numbuh 1 about Father's ususal mischievous activities.

Patton couldn't function normally for the rest of the day. He was just tossed into the abyss where the light would never shine, facing the worst scenario any man endures when he is marked as _just _a friend.

Patton had now just entered... the Friend zone.

"STOOOPID BOY!" Numbuh 86 yelled at Patton, who was mourning his lose. He sighed; he would never get a break, but hey, Fanny was looking pretty cute today.


End file.
